Limited Time Offer

Yesterday, President Obama said that Republican Representative Paul Ryan's budget will cause the air and water to be dirtier, food will be unsafe, kids will not get educated, etc. Well, I'll let you in a little secret. We Republicans have set aside a supply of clean air and clean water for our use only, but I seem to have set aside a excess, so, for a limited time only, I am offering shares of clean air and clean water and will tell you what national food chain sells only safe food. This is being made available to my Liberal friends for a limited time only. This offer is not available in stores. For further information about price and quantities, please contact me. Contact me before midnight and I'll double the offer! Satisfaction guaranteed!!