Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Tea Party Movement is the Cause of Illegal Immigration

Got this from my buddy, Dave. Thanks, it's great!





 From The Manitoba, Canada Herald 

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week,
sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. 

     The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon 
     be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

      Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors,     

      animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the   
      cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said 
      Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was
      cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
      chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my    

     In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
     but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared
     Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
     liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they
     wouldn't give any milk."

     Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
     liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station
     wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left
     to fend for themselves.

     "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,"
     an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a
     single bottle of imported drinking water

     They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

     When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
     wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
     have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education
     camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
     NASCAR races.

     In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing
     the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus
     trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-
     dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration
     authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-
     citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they
     were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The
     Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official   


     Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are 
     creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the
     Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the 
     Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa
     resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

     In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
     Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged
     that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A
     source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul
     McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some
     endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to
     reach out," he said.

 Just so you'll know...the Manitoba Herald doesn't exist.  It was published for a couple of years in the 1800's. 

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